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 I find myself crying every so often this Ramadan.

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Informal, Slangs/Singkatan Gaul Internet beserta Maksud Kata Bahasa Inggris (2018)

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I long for someone

It happens again.  Me being all happy the whole day while at night I overthink.  I cannot stop it.  I am still unable to.  I'm tired.  Too sad to even sleep.  Too hard too type when the fingers you use to type are the same ones you use to wipe your tears.  How wrong must the things be for me to experience this.  I need God. Then I long for another human being.  I must admit I long for him.  The person who is brave enough to come knock on my door.  I long for him for I am unable to be my true authentic self and tell all my stories to someone without knowing the feeling is reciprocated.  As pathetic as it sounds I need someone to share my life with. 
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Silent

 When you're the type who minds your own business and is not nosy or worse crossing people's boundary, you tend to appreciate silence more. When you've gone through so much and you have faced so much instability or dysfunction, you recognise patterns of toxic behaviour. However, not coming from a strong root that has an unconditional familial support system you tend to try to blend in. You put effort. You try to, sorry to say, dumb down just so they understand you and feel heard. But that's the thing about pity, people can hold it against you.  So for now, to be silent once more needs practice. 
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